Why Kids Crave Our Attention More Than We Realize
Have you ever found yourself sighing after the tenth “Watch this!” in five minutes? You’re not alone. It can feel like kids are constantly interrupting, demanding, or overreacting. But what if their “attention-seeking” behavior is actually something deeper?
The truth is, children aren’t looking for perfection. They’re looking for a connection. And understanding why kids crave our attention can change how we show up for them, and for ourselves.
More Than Just a Moment
Think about how a child lights up when you really see them, when you lock eyes and nod while they’re telling a story, or cheer for them mid-cartwheel. These aren’t small things to them. These are everything.
Children rely on your attention the way plants rely on sunlight. It fuels their confidence, self-worth, and emotional development. What seems like a silly drawing or endless questions to you might be their way of saying, “Do I matter to you right now?”
The Power of Your Presence
You don’t have to be a superhero. You just have to be there. Not constantly, but intentionally.
It’s not about doing all the things perfectly, it’s about doing one thing with your full presence. Reading for five focused minutes. Listening without your phone in hand. Smiling instead of sighing.
In those moments, you’re not just giving attention. You’re giving belonging, safety, and love.
“Bad” Behavior Isn’t Always What It Seems
When kids act out, interrupt, or cling, it’s not usually about misbehaving, it’s often about miscommunicating. They may not know how to say, “I’m overwhelmed,” or “I missed you today.” So, they whine. They push. They act out.
But underneath the noise is a simple need: see me, hear me, love me.
Less Perfection, More Connection
The next time your child tugs on your sleeve, take a deep breath and look their way. Not because you have to, but because you get to. These moments are fleeting, but their impact lasts a lifetime.
So, lean into the connection, even when life feels busy or messy. Because when you offer your presence, even briefly, you’re showing your child: You are seen. You are loved. You matter.
Final Thoughts: A Story That Speaks Their Language
In Erin Shular’s heartwarming children’s book, I Wish My Mommy Was an Octopus, one child imagines life with a multi-armed mom who could do everything at once, play, cook, clean, and still snuggle. But by the end, they realize what matters most isn’t a mom who can do it all. It’s a mom who’s there.
Order your copy of “I Wish My Mommy Was an Octopus” and share a story that helps kids understand their big feelings, and helps you remember how powerful your attention really is.